Several months ago, I found the most beautiful patchwork notebook journal at the store and I couldn’t resist it. As a writer I have my share of different styles of notebooks and all kinds of paper to write on. I bought it, then stuck the notebook into my drawer until the right time when I would find the purpose I wanted to use it for. As you know the right reason season and timing is so vital when it comes to using our most precious journals.
Who would have thought that my cousin’s unexpected death would spark the desire to finally use this notebook?
Our lives, like quilts, are stitched together with special pieces that represent something or someone in our lives, whether past or present. Each piece has its own shape, color, pattern, and size. Each of us has a unique story woven with memories.
As we sit down to examine and reflect on the pieces we have before us, we can begin to put together the patches and create a whole quilt that embodies a celebration of our lives and experiences, along with the people we hold dearest.
In our experience, a variety of feelings, thoughts, and emotions come our way: tears and laughter, cheer and anger, gains and losses, sun and rain, strength and weakness, sorrows and joy, friends and foes. On our journey, we encounter various colors that add to the tapestry of our lives. The darker colors tend to emerge during the gloomier times, where we see blacks and grays, while sunny days bring yellows, reds, and oranges, and stormy nights reveal purples and blues.
In the same way that a quilt requires an investment of our time, effort, intentions, and money, so too does our life’s journey. Beyond the colors we have within our memory bank are the traditions we’ve loved and hated, the battles we’ve lost and won, the joyful times we’ve celebrated, and the sorrows we were unable to escape. We mastered some skills and failed at others; we had music that moved us, annoyed us, made us dance, and made us cry.
A quilt provides comfort and warmth after we’ve chosen the pieces that reflect the best of our experiences, both good and bad. It’s amazing how old scrap material can be used to create something new, comforting, and beautiful. When you think about the various fabrics—cotton, denim, polyester, silk, lace, canvas, leather, satin, wool, velvet, corduroy, and cashmere, just to name a few—and then consider the textures of rough, soft, smooth, rugged, dry, puffy, stretchy, cool, heavy, loose, thick, and thin, you see how the pieces of our quilt reflect the various emotions and feelings we experience in our lives.
If you have ever seen a completed quilt, it looks so put together at first glance. But as you look deeper, you begin to see how the pieces didn’t necessarily fit together easily; they were stitched together with much thought and care.
The beautiful thing about a patchwork quilt is that if it ever becomes unraveled, it can always be restitched. It may never be completely perfect, but it will always be perfectly imperfect in its own way. This reflects our journey, which is anything but linear.
As I look beyond the basic thoughts of the quilt and press passed that to my grief it has allowed me to see that grief itself has a tapestry that is familiar to a patchwork quilt, and it takes a life of its own on. As we seek to find comfort within our grief, we can reflect on a beautiful life that was lived, with many memories and amazing moments shared. Through the pain, joy, fun, and tears we will find that the emotions bubble up. In the stages of grief, we have denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance and they are all woven together. As we do some mindful thinking it helps us to find a certain special warmth in the memories of the one, we hold dear who once held such an important place in our lives. Their life and their journey also created its own special patchwork design. As we navigate through our grief, we realize that the person we lost has their own unique quilt for their life. They may be just one piece in our larger quilt, but their impact to our life is deep. Each interaction, each shared moment, only adds something more – and reminds us that every square truly holds significant meaning.
Though a quilt doesn’t have a heartbeat, it holds something vital: at its heart lies love, healing, grace, forgiveness, cherished memories, and so much more. These elements create the thread that binds all our pieces together.
For us as writers, just like crafters who situate the pieces they’ve collected and organized, we gather our words and arrange them thoughtfully. Patchwork serves as a symbol of connection, as it brings together various pieces to build a memorable and creative collection.