It's All Write With Kristi – Kristi's Life Morsels

I found these two little golden nuggets among many of my mom’s things when we were weeding through papers she had filed away. I don’t have my mom here on earth with me anymore, so when we find something such as these deep words, they are priceless to say the least.

I recently made some vigorous changes in my life. As the days go by I make my way onto a new adventure with God. I move with great anticipation of what is next. The Lord called me out of a job that I had been in for almost twenty-six years of my life. This was in no way an easy decision to make. But the decision wasn’t for me to decide on. When God calls us to something we either can go or hold back from what he’s asking and stay where we are. God isn’t going to call everyone to this in the same way. But we have to often make the decision to let go of the old thing(s), so we may have the new things he wants to bless us with.

The Lord gave me a dream when I was young. I’d been writing since I was in middle school. It was in my late teens/early twenties that I knew he was calling me for even greater things with this gifting and abilities he gave me in writing. He’s been preparing me for this all my life. After finishing college, it seems I thought it was all going to come to me, and just fall right into place. After all, I did my part right? It turns out I needed to be obedient, way beyond myself and my own way of thinking about this.

Bruce Wilkinson speaks on the dreamer giver card (pictured above) of how he’s following faith and everyday feels more prepared for whatever lies ahead. It wasn’t until I made my faith decision that I could really understand what this means. Every day I have to rely on my faith in God more and more.

The other passage by G. Campbell Morgan speaks even more so to this story of my journey. When God ordains something that he has called us to do, he knows our destiny early on. He goes ahead of us making the provisions. We choose to go in faith, even when we don’t see. It’s like a foggy morning and you have to travel someplace. You might feel a hesitation creep in because it’s not easy to see what is in front of you. At times it’s scary and you wonder if it’s even safe to drive because the thickness of the fog is so strong. Fear is like that fog. If we go and trust God, he may just give us enough clearness for the next five feet. You just continue a little bit at a time if needed. Just don’t stop. As long as we stay with him and trust him, he gets us to the next thing he has for us.

It’s not a coincidence that I found these cards in my drawer this morning. I knew it was time to get a new blog post up. That was overdue months ago. Rereading these little passages sparked as a reminder to me that it’s okay to follow the dreams that are deep within and orchestrated by God. He prepares what is necessary, not too soon or too late. He’s always on time. You know you have to eat dinner tomorrow night, but you focus on what you’re having today first.

Is there something within you that the Lord has been speaking to you about? Or maybe he’s more recently giving you reminders of something he placed (or wants to place) in your life. Maybe there’s a task that you’ve put off because you know it will cause you to have to rely on your faith in him a little more. Don’t be afraid to allow that faith muscle to be built stronger.

God has many things for us, but he isn’t going to force us to trust him. Sometimes steps are necessary in order to walk into our ordained destinations. He has it planned for you. He’s waiting for you to respond and follow. I’m still waiting on him as I go, but I no longer see the fog/fear as an obstacle. I’ve realized that I can even close my eyes if I need to, as long as I keep walking holding on to him. Like those two cards that lingered around from my mom, pay close attention to the things that are around you. You never know when the Lord will speak to you or trying to show you something in ways you least expect. The choice is ours to see the fog or remember if we go through that it’s clear on the other side of it!

There was once a time when beneath these trees friends played together, or maybe they talked about what they would be wearing to their prom. Way back in the days before social media life was lived a different way. People planned picnics, reunions, and things like special events in ancient times. People parked their cars in the parking lot of a park and took a walk together. Its hard to see it now. Maybe it’s far from your memory; below those trees lived friendships that were full of life, experiences happened, and memories were made.

Something happened one day. The internet came to be a thing. Before long we no longer needed to wait for our friend to call to make plans because we couldn’t wait to see them. We could just send a text to check in and say hi. At first we may have even texted several times a day, then days became weeks, slowly weeks became months.

You know that friend you were so close to? You now bump into them at the grocery store and maybe don’t even care if they walk down another isle. Years ago you wouldn’t be able to get to them quickly enough. Then you are picking up your milk and they happen to accidently bump into you. “Hey, is that you?” You have a quick chat over all the things that you’ve recently posted on Facebook. Then one of you make that all famous comment of “we’ve got to get together soon.” That comment you’ve been making for over four years now. Before long you’ve almost forgotten about your encounter, until the next four months later when you bump into them at Walgreen’s, at a restaurant, or the movie theatre.

Life gets busy. People get jobs. People get married and some have children. People have laundry to do, and homes/apartments to keep clean. But people had these things years ago too. What has changed? What has made people busier than ever before. In my opinion we have more devices that take up our time than ever before. We are ‘following’ the lives of people we knew 30 years ago. But we aren’t following the hurting heart of our dearest friends that we once held close to us. It can become very taxing to have to get up earlier so we can beat yesterday’s high score on the APP of our favorite game. Then we have 635 friends on Facebook, 100 people we follow on Instagram, 331 people on Snapchat, 850 people on TikTok, and need I say more?

It’s great to be connected to so many people. It’s great to check in on old classmates, or relatives that live far away. But is it necessary to know so much about what everyone is doing on 8 different social media platforms? I am not discouraging people from using Social Media. It is a great thing. But there are pros and cons that must be weighted. There are limits that must be set.

I encourage you to think of your close friends from years ago. The ones that you probably receive a Christmas Card from. This may take you totally a way from your new normal. Go to the store and get a ‘thinking of you’ card. Write them a little letter and send it to them in the mail. I say to do this even if they live within thirty miles away. Recall some old memories that aren’t forgotten. Maybe even suggest that you get together – and actually give them some possible dates/times. Make the reconnection a priority.

All is not lost when it comes to these friendships. If someone once held a special place in your heart, allow them to come more front and center again. Yes, friendships change through the years. People come and people go. Maybe you’ve just allowed yourself to be boggled with too many things (especially the things you hold in your hard – like phones/tablets/etc, and just need to reevaluate the importance of those people.

Make a memory under the trees. Go to the park for a walk. Bring a coffee and sit at the picnic table. Get the old youth group together, or your old band members. Invite your old ‘club’ to your home. Have your bestie come over and bake cookies together. Chances are for many it will seem that you just picked up where you left off. Maybe it was six weeks ago, eight months ago, or even ten years ago. Leave the cell phone in the car or at home. Stop allowing the things that take up too much time in our hands, replace the dearest things to our heart. Allow the people back in! Do something old fashioned, and put the people in front of you that you love…in person.

I sat down to write with the wind blowing my pad of paper up into the air. I came with determination to get writing done. It wasn’t long before I started to feel distraction come in. To name a few, it was the bugs, noises of someone using a weed wacker, or someone stopping by to say hello. I thought I had managed to get to a spot where I wouldn’t be bothered. Just getting to that spot alone was a chore. Delays, the kids needed something, a phone call, did I get this done, oh wait I forgot to eat something, and the list could go on.

I finally brought my writing things to the table, sat down and put my head up into the air. I thought for a minute about all the things that continued to distract me. When all was said and done was some of this really my choice? Could I avoid these conflicts somehow? How often do we wish to get to a task, or say we are finally going to cross this or that off our list for once and for all, to find ourselves frustrated that it’s just not happening the way we wish? It’s something to give thought to.

As a writer, where exactly is the right or ‘write’ place to write? When exactly is the right or ‘write’ time to ‘write?’ Sure we could write anyplace. It’s as easy as bringing a pen and paper, or device that we can write on, right? Or is it that simple? I think it’s important to identify specific places that seem to work best for our writing. At the same time, allow flexibility that maybe other places might be feasible to get some writing done as well. Maybe a lot of it comes to mindset. Perhaps maybe the ‘write’ mindset.

If you’re anything like me, you get a great idea and say “I’ll get to this later.” Then you think about it later and that thought never was written down. How do we prevent this? If you’re writing a poem – then maybe 2 sets. If you’re writing a song – maybe a verse per day. If you’re writing a book – maybe it’s about what is your word total goal for the day, week, or month? If you’re writing a script – how many pages in a certain time frame? Maybe you just want to write a to do list and can’t seem to find time to sit down. You need the ‘write’ mindset to set a time and place to do it.

Give yourself some time. Today I write from ___ to ___. Find and identify your ‘write’ places. You must also identify your ‘write’ times. Put it on your calendar as ‘write time.’ We are all unique in that another person is never going to come up with the exact same time ideas as you. Nor will what works in our life, work exactly that same as it would for even our very best friend. This might require trying out places too. When we buy new clothes we sometimes need to try them on in the dressing room to see if they are the right fit, style, and then look at the price. The correct writing time and place are sort of like the fit! We may need to try different options on.

As I sat down at that table and stopped allowing the distractions to affect my ‘writing’ time, I just began to refocus my thinking. In the first photo above, you can get an idea of my surroundings. The sun was shining almost perfectly. The wind was blowing the trees to set a nice breeze into the air. The temperature couldn’t have been more perfect. I saw a flag that I hadn’t ever realized was at the campsite. The water was flowing so peacefully. I could hear the quietness of the day, despite all the things that might have been going on. I made it an intentional thing to listen, to look, and to get my focus on the view of what was around me that I don’t usually see. I could be at camp fifty times in a season and not realize what things look like close up, or from a different view. I saw the deck at the pond. I never realized what the colors of the boat was, nor what it said on it. Did this really matter? I believe it did, and does matter.

For me as a writer, that day at the camp pond sitting on the bench I thought of a new concept. It is more than time or place, but what was my ‘write’ reason? If you have a calling to, or a gifting for writing, you may struggle with this concept. I asked myself to identify the ‘why’ of my writing, then a whole lot of reasoning started to come into view. Just like those little things I began to see which I hadn’t paid attention to, all of as sudden the complexity of my reason for writing came to surface. Most importantly, finding my ‘write’ time has now become imperative to the success in my craft. It’s not an option!

A writer has something greater inside of them that needs to be heard on paper. There is a creation waiting to be released. Every piece of writing creates something new. Something within that piece of writing can make an impact in the writers life, as well as the lives of others. Writing forces thoughts to get out of your mind and into a different form of existence. Writing is a sense of sharing, giving, and being generous of not withholding something just for yourself.

So many thoughts were coming to my mind when I found myself staring into space. As I looked down there were some weeds in the pond in my view from the table. In my stare, and concentrated effort I soon noticed some beautiful dragonflies. There were so many I couldn’t count them all. If you look at the image you can see the weeds, then over to the left there’s several dragonflies in the air. They fly around so fast that it’s hard to capture them! They are a beautiful creature. They take this ugly image of weeds, and make this photo so much more meaningful.

Too often we focus on the weeds or ugly things in our lives, that we miss the beauty of the things nearby. If you just looked at this photo you probably wouldn’t think much of it. It wasn’t until I mentioned the dragonflies that one would probably consider what I was speaking about. Pointing out even one small thing can change the perspective by deepening the whole meaning. It is the job of the writer to point the reader or viewer to the deeper meaning.

An artist that paints creates something that can be captured by the eye. A writer creates something that is captured by the eyes as well, be it in the form of a reading (book, magazine, internet, etc.). It could be something that ends up being filmed and then later watched on a screen in some way, shape, or form. It then goes into the mind, and often drips down into the heart. Writers are among us. Have we ever stopped to think about how someone (a writer) wrote everything we read? Someone also wrote everything we view. Someone wrote the songs we listen to. Without those writers we wouldn’t have our favorite verses or books of the bible, songs, television shows, books, movies, News media, commercials, instruction manuals, and countless other things that we need and love creatively and commutatively. Writers make an impact. Writer’s are needed. Writers have a reason to be!

You may struggle with wondering if your idea is good enough, or important enough. Just like there are various genres of books. Writers all over have different purposes in their work. Some have multi purpose writing abilities. We all have favorite styles of music, drinks, scents, detergents, air fresheners, or brands for cars/clothes/etc. If you are a reader, you may like a variety of styles. We can’t count ourselves out just because ‘everyone’ doesn’t see us at their favorite! Someone might be searching for exactly what is said through you, while someone else might stumble on it by accident. What’s important is to have it available for whatever reason that might be!

Like those dragonflies, ideas in a writer’s mind can come and go so quickly or often that it’s hard to capture them all. This can pertain to any writer no matter what you write! Use your phone and text yourself if you need to (without a pad of paper available). Keep paper and pen in your purse or car. Set yourself up for your ‘write’ organizing! Organize your ideas. Really look at what you’ve written down. Stop seeing the weeds, and start to focus on those ‘dragonflies’ of ideas that serve a bigger purpose in the scenery of life! Your poem might be what helps someone through something they thought no one could understand. That character in your book or screenplay might be so unique that their story is so relatable to someone that just specifically needed that story. That devotional topic or blogpost might be just enough to help someone have a great start to their day, or an wonderous ending to a bad one.

Your writing is meant to impact a specific audience. It may be small, or widespread. Don’t let that stop you. Get it written down. Get it written down. Yes I meant to repeat myself, get it written down! Your audience alone is enough reason to get it done. They may be waiting for exactly what you have to say. Know how big or little your words, that we must not allow the people who are meant to read what you have to say miss out due to any reason, doubt, or distraction. Remember your ‘write’ purpose!

I can see myself with a book coming from this blog down the road…so stay tuned! I have some other projects I’m working on first.

Bonus on my blog: If you are a Christian writer think of it as this; God protects what he gives to his writer’s. When you pray, devote to, and allow him to give you the insight for your writing, he wraps it in his protection. Everything inside of it is like the inside of a burrito. The substance is rich and flavorful in taste. Your writing is then used as a deliverable in the lives of others. It is produced out of something within you. It requires you to do the work that God has provided you with his ability to do. It provides something tangible that people can chew on, then digest, and later can produce something fruitful in their lives. All of this because you were obedient to his call as a writer to be used for his purposes and make a difference for him. Remember God has a ‘write’ purpose for you, for this time in this world!

Where are you with your intentions this year?

Yes, I made up a new word! Intentional-izing!

The 6th month of the year is here. That means we are halfway through 2022.
Where did/do I intend to go?
What did/do I intend to do?
What did/do I intend to buy?
Am I saving what I was going to?
What did/do I intend to do with this…with that?

How are you feeling about your intentions? Did you forget some of them, and can’t even remember them? Are you planning to get to them? Are you ashamed to say that you have done little to keep what you intended? This halfway mark is a great time to examine yourself. It’s a great time to realize that it isn’t too late.

When we begin to dissect our intentions, perhaps we will ‘intentionally’ rethink much of what we do. It may take a minute, but it’s productive and could save so many hassles. Recently I have taken the time to learn more about planning and time management. The problem with anything that can be a better motivator, is that it is useless if we don’t make a commitment. So I decided to get it on paper. I invested in some new Franklin Covey planner sheets. I also found some ways to spruce up my daily planner to make it more inviting (and wanting to go back). If you have a checklist for the day, the week, the month, the more you are then able to take an inventory of how you are doing. Be realistic and fair to yourself though. Some may ask why on earth would you want to put things on paper? That’s so old fashioned, and a waste of time. I also use my work calendar and phone (so I have a triple reminder). You’ll be amazed when you see what is left unchecked, you have to think about the ‘why’ this didn’t get done. Examining our time spent is a priceless investment. That few hours a month is a great investment in you, your loved ones, and your future. You may warrant yourself a much more productive life.

If you are a believer/Christian, do you realize you have a uniqueness in Christ? You were created by God so he could fulfill his direct purposes for your life. That means he wants to work his purposes for you, in and through YOU…not anyone else. You were not created to fulfill the purposes of anyone else’s life. God has his own things for them. This includes your spouse, your kids, parents, siblings, cousins, friends, neighbors, co-workers, and so forth. God may use you as a guide or example to point them in the right direction (especially when they see you making progress). Maybe he will guide you to a song, a scripture, an article, or YouTube video that would benefit them. But you can’t plan for anyone else’s success but your own.

Psalm 51:12 Restore to me the joy of your salvation, and uphold me with a willing spirit.
You may be thinking how can I possibly do this now? God just wants a willingness from you. Stop thinking where you may have failed this year and start ‘doing’ forward.

Start prioritizing your intentions as a must. That may mean you have to schedule in things that you seriously want to get done (working out, reading the bible/or a book, you may even have to set limits on your social media – use a kitchen timer or countdown clock on your phone). Track yourself for a few days and jot down what you did through the day. How much time did I spend doing this or that? Then figure out what you need to change and write it down. Physically writing something down often will help you organize your thoughts better. You can see it in front of you and erase, cross out, and splice it up. This method uses a the frontal lobe part of your brain (good brain exercise). This works the area responsible for movement, reasoning, judgement, planning and problem solving. That is something to think about.

What keeps our intentions afloat? We all have to actually find what works best for us. As an individual, progress can look different for everyone. What’s important is staying intentional about it. That’s where the intentional-izing comes in!

If we really want something, we must be willing to pay the costs that are required to get to it. You can do this!

Oh no, yes, I said this! This is pretty much the reverse of what we are used to hearing, reading, and saying! Because we are lacking time for so many things in this life, it only makes sense to reevaluate needs vs wants when it comes to the way we spend our time. Do you write a task list? Does it keep getting more filled up before things are crossed off? I don’t know about you, but I sometimes find unnecessary things on my task list. I actually have pages of them. I have different titles on them such as today, soon, next week, specific holiday or event, someday, gift ideas, etc.

The older I get the more I realize if I don’t write it down, there’s a good chance I will forget it. If I get it on my piece of paper (maybe for you it’s your phone notepad or something else). This way it allows some peace of mind so that it won’t be forgotten! Task lists can be anything and everything. They can get overwhelming too – so organizing them is critical. Yes – them! There are tasks like appointments to make, bills you don’t want to forget to pay, you have to order or pick up something, organize this/that, and so on. They are household related, shopping related, or maybe commitments you make.

Where I try to think twice now is maybe an errand is premature. If I am going to be going that way for something else in the near future, is it possible that this/that can wait a few extra hours, days, or weeks? Repeated and unnecessary trips are a waste of time, money, and energy. This doesn’t apply to everything in our lives. There are some things that we cannot neglect, nor should we. Our families, health, brushing our teeth, and things of that nature are a no brainer. Sometimes we invest time on things though that could be picked up/dropped off at a later time.

Could it be that we should evaluate our time management with wants and needs though? Do you need to shop at that store once a week? Is it necessary? Is it out of your way? Can you drop it down to every other week, or once a month even? I’ve found that I used to have a ‘to do’ list of certain stores in which I had to check in see what was new once a week. After finding out that I wasn’t missing out on anything it was much easier to adjust to every three weeks or even once every six (or more). What is this trip benefiting me? Can I really afford to buy this/that right now?

While I have learned the hard way that sometimes you see something and know you want it. You go back the next day/week/month and it isn’t there. When you’re searching on google to find that exact item and it’s nowhere to be found, yeah you probably should’ve picked it up then. I have found with the majority of things though that a wish list/save for later is a great way to keep it in mind, but reevaluate it. (Price comparisons, rethink if I really must have this, etc)

I trained my mind with my tasks for the longest time that ‘I have to’ do this, get that done, go there, buy that, donate that, etc. Yes, even donations being dropped off at a certain location. I used to do a cleanup in the house with the kids and we would take a few things one day, then more another. When I reevaluated that situation I realized that it was a complete waste of time and gas to make multiple trips if there was plenty of room.

We can even go as far as setting a priority 1, 2, or 3 on our tasks. Sometimes when we look at things on a list if it’s too full, we can get stressed out about it. If you add the number next to it, get your 1’s done as soon as possible, your 2’s as you can, and the 3’s are things you can wait for. Your 3’s may at some point become a 1 or 2, but you can keep a handle on it. The whole aspect of balance comes to mind.

One of the reasons I felt compelled to write this was because I have found this idea to be super helpful for me in my day to day life. I used to end up at the grocery store either every day or every other day after I left work. Now with a good solid list, I only have to go once or twice a week. The extra (unnecessary) tips ended up costing more money in the end too. You have to retrain your mind to say “Oh when I go there again I’ll have to grab…..” Too many times you can find yourself jumping off the couch, running to get this/that after dinner, or just things taking place at the least opportune times that can wait for another day. It’s okay to just head home after work and get those items closer to the time you’re going to need them. It’s okay to not rush out to grab this or do this or that because you don’t want to forget. A great little pocket notebook is a great and inexpensive investment. You might find it’s actually thought of as a golden treasure as you begin to use it and reevaluate your time and save yourself a lot of frustration you never needed to experience, to begin with!

You may end up with so much more time for things you wish you could be getting done and wonder why you didn’t think of this sooner!

Something happened. Something lifechanging occurred. Something devastating broke your heart. You know, we all have had something. We lose someone we love unexpectedly, someone faces a type of crisis (life/health/etc), job loss, something you never thought would ever happen to you, it’s enough to jolt you.

You probably can recall a few of your own, or you have heard others speak of:
“After going through this I will never be the same.”
“I will put more heart and sincerity into things.”
“I’m going to care more, spend more time…..”
Fill in your blank.

What are you waiting for?

Do these circumstances really change us? Do they get inside of us? I titled this blog post ‘Evaporated Intentions’ because I feel like we are like water boiling in a kettle when we go through the heat of the circumstance. Then the water is poured into the mug. It’s still heated, we are still destined. Then it sits there for a while and the water isn’t so hot. The desire to make this miraculous change has suddenly stopped. Then you look into the cup and realize the water evaporated into the air.

Maybe for a while we start calling someone everyday to check on them that is alone. Then it becomes every other day, then once a week, once a month, and before long it’s twice a year. Maybe it’s going to see someone that we say plays an important role in our lives. We can’t imagine losing that person, and feel regret for not making more time to spend with them. We used to see them twice a year, then we are determined that we will see them twice a month. We start out great with it, then as time goes on it becomes of less importance to make it happen.

Many times we face a health scare and we know exactly what we need to do to prevent it from happening again (or lessen the chances of). We get out of the hospital and we almost do it because we are scared of what we went through, and don’t want to experience it again. We slowly start allowing old habits in, and before long we’ve allowed what we healed from to come back into our lives. What happens to replace this? When our lives become derailed we suddenly look at what is most important to us in a different manner. Or maybe we ‘think’ we’ve rediscovered what’s important. But how important is it? Are these times really life changing?

Since I have truly started my journey as a blogger/author/screenwriter I have come to find that there are more distractions that I thought were imaginable. Then when you look at all you can have available to you…there are all of the quotes, motivational speakers, calendars/planners, seminars, videos to watch online, and coaches for everything imaginable.

A lot of the ‘motivations’ we tend to fall to are actually helping us waste more time and keeping us from what we are setting out to accomplish.
Are you set out to do it?
Are you steadfast?
Are you intentionally making it happen?

You lost a close friend. You will show the friends you have remaining how much you care. You will start telling them you love them. Do you? That person you lost, what would you do differently if you could? Don’t lose sight of that. Perhaps we try to put it out of our mind because we regret what we wish could’ve been differently. Maybe part of healing isn’t ‘letting go’ of what we lost or hurt from, but actually allowing it to stay with us more. We need to continue to allow it to impact us so that we act on our intentions.

How many years has it been since you said ‘things will be different?’

We also often use these times of the deep hard moments to get our inspiration for how we can make the deepest impact in our world, or in someone’s life. We allow it to cause reality to settle in. Time is short. None of us know how long we have here. If we were created for something greater, if we don’t want the harder lifechanging times to fade away in vain, then rise above it and don’t fall into wasted intentions.

What stops us? We have to face it – that this isn’t working. Our intentions are great for a time, but they slowly evaporate and we don’t even have the woulda, coulda, shoulda left. It’s like we never said it. Maybe the impact wasn’t as deep into the heart as we thought. We get so used to saying things, but we don’t act.

Maybe don’t say it at all. Maybe we should take a new approach. Maybe we should allow it to affect us internally, so that we later make it an outward change. Stop promising people what we will do more of, and just do. Just go. Just show them instead. Plans and promises are too easily broken. Call more, write more, stop doing this as much because it’s not good for me, start doing more of that because it’s healthier, stop thinking about it so much. Don’t act like it’s optional.

Most recently in our lives we’ve faced Covid. When it started you heard a lot of people talk about what they would do when they weren’t confined inside their homes. They repositioned their priority list.

If you think about the people you lost in your life…how many of them had intended to do something. Maybe they always wanted to try something, or travel someplace. How many of them allowed it to take place (and it was within their own control)? How many never had the chance.

Make your impact. Start now. Not Monday, not tomorrow, not next week or next month, and surely not next year. Turn the television off. Cancel the unnecessary plans. Maybe you don’t need to go shop because it’s your hobby. Take that bike ride. Put your phone down. Do something this very moment that will get you closer to your “Someday I’m going to….”

How many “I would love to do that some day’s” started for you two months ago, or even three years ago or more? When exactly do you think it will come to fruition? Someday you’re doing to wish you had just done it. Pay off your debt. Work to get that car you want. Manage your time better. We need to lessen the amount of time we spend on things that don’t get our goal done. We feel guilty about it later, but we actually don’t have to.

Don’t wait for your next heartbreaking loss. Don’t wait for that health crisis to touch your life. Live life with intention. Don’t boil the water and let it sit to evaporate. Use that water to make something. Hot water creates a great bath to relax someone. Hot water adds to the brew of coffee and makes it something that helps give a perk to the day, and some needed energy. Hot water steeped with a tea bag helps calm someone down at the end of a hard day. Don’t let the boil go to waste or evaporate away – use it!

My son Nehemiah had to have the ‘coolest’ basketball bowl last Christmas. He was so excited when he actually received it. As he opened it, the look on his face was like ‘what?’ “But mom, that was expensive.” It was a little more than I might have normally spent for a bowl, but it was something special and unique to him. I can’t tell you the countless times he would use the bowl. He took extra special care of it. My son realized the value, and he felt sentimental (as well as grateful).

One day not long ago I was doing dishes. I didn’t realize that the bowl was in the dishpan. I accidently broke the basket on it. My heart sank for a moment. BUT, ‘it’s just a bowl’ you might think. I knew how much this little simple thing meant to him. Now what? He asked me to get Gorilla glue. I did. We tried countless times to hold it together with no success.

How often do we put ourselves into situations where we don’t realize how they might ‘break’ us a little if we aren’t careful? How often we might realize that the things which are most precious to us might be the simplest or most delicate. I recently asked him if he just wanted to get rid of it. His response was “Mom, I think we should still try to fix it. There has to be something that will hold it together.” So the bowl sits still on the kitchen counter waiting for it’s possible fix. It means too much to him to get rid of it. He doesn’t want to replace it with another one either. That broken bowl is still something he cherishes, broken pieces or not.

There is so much deep meaning in this experience with this little basketball bowl! Something broken can still be cherished. Sometimes it’s the reason why we received it. In this case it was because Nehemiah plays basketball and loves the sport. Sometimes it is the person who gave it to us (in this case he received from his mom and stepdad), or maybe it belonged to someone that is special or no longer with us.

Most of us have a special trinket or item that holds value to us – within our heart. A special necklace that was grandma’s, or a baseball cap that was dad’s, porcelain doll that belonged to aunt Sue, or the list could go on. We usually keep these things in a special place. We look at them or hold them with our reflection of something inside of us that we treasure because of someone dear (or a special memory).

Our hearts are a home for our treasures. They don’t live on a shelf, in a cupboard, or cardboard box. It is the place existing inside of us that keeps our treasures of people, places, and memories of what we hold dear. It’s important to keep our hearts strong. Don’t allow things to affect it that could cause damage if it’s possible to do that in any way. How we do this can be different for each one of us, but it starts with taking things in stride. Take your time to enjoy the life you have and the blessing of the people you love. Don’t settle for less than you have to. Keep your focus on what is important. Strive for balance. Cherish your treasures!

Don’t misplace your success this year! Sometimes it is necessary to ask yourself some questions, do inventory, and identify – what do I need to do this get this here or there
(where I NEED it to be)? Your success depends on you.

It’s important to remember that if it doesn’t fit into your life (or if it doesn’t fit you), it
might just be time to get rid of it. If I have learned anything in the past twelve months it’s that keeping things where they don’t belong will only be a hindrance to you. Did you ever have that pair of shoes in the way of the door? You keep walking over them. They are in your way, but you keep walking around them. They need to be moved or eventually you will find yourself unbalanced (trying to juggle too much around them) and you will keep potentially tripping. These shoes can also cause you time delays. It’s as simple as picking them up and moving them out of the way. Yet how many of us leave those little petty things as a barrier?

Sometimes this means disassociating with people who are toxic to your own sanity and growth. We often make too many commitments. Give yourself a little bit of time before jumping to say yes. What harm was there ever in saying “Let me get back to you?” We can overwhelm our schedules with so much that we have no place to ‘pencil’ things in.

We must build our goal plans with balance and practicality. There are so many options to help us along the way in the path to this success. Using a calendar, a journal, a phone calendar, or even a wall/desk calendar. Find one thing that use it, then stick to it. I remember when I decided to use a planner for better time management. I also used a pocket calendar, as well as my phone. So every week/month I was plugging in to at least three different sources. WE can’t forget my office/work calendar. One of my most dreaded times of the month was my calendaring. How many of us know that our goals aren’t supposed to stress us. The other thing I didn’t factor in was if something changed, I then had to edit it on every source I was using to be more organized. What is most practical for me, might not be the same for you. Some people just find that using “SIRI remind me to ….” is sufficient. Or Alexa too. Set reminders. Use your cell phone. You pay your bill so you might as well utilize the resources you have.

It’s a new year. Did you put your decorations away? Did you put ‘most’ of them away? How often we leave things that no longer belong. I had items last year that never made it to the Christmas bin. They were misplaced somewhere and then when we wanted to enjoy them this year, they were no where to be found. We take our time. We putter around. We don’t make it a priority to put things in their place, then we suffer for it later.

If you want to faithfully brush your teeth, then you need to make sure the brush and paste are in the bathroom. If you want to be better at eating together as a family, then you can’t have mail piled for six weeks on the kitchen table. If you want to work out on your exercise bike, then put it in a place that it will be in sight/reach. Get on it. Do it.

Put your focus in place. On the good. Yes I lost this/that…but what do you still have? What’s coming your way? Appreciate those things more than focusing on what your losses are. No I can’t do this, I can’t go there…but where can I go? What can I still do? What do I have time for now that I haven’t before. Get things done.

I wish. I see this person has this. This person is doing that. DO you know thee are things about your life someone wishes they had? When we close the shades and stop looking outside of our own blessings…and actually look at the things we DO have to be thankful for, you might be overwhelmed at how much you’ve taken for granted.

Every day is a gift. Well if he or she would have…I could have. Start being accountable for what you do get done or don’t get done. Remove the obstacles. Remove the excuses. Own your success. Put it in it’s place!

To say that 2020 was a bundle of the unexpected is an understatement. As if the Holiday season wasn’t stressful enough in a ‘regular’ year, we are now expected to handle it all with a relentless virus that just won’t see to go away. On top of that we have friends and loved one who all have differing opinions. So just HOW do we do this? How do we stay sane and healthy during this Covid19 Christmas season?

There isn’t one quick answer for all of this. There is no one size fits all for how to cope. Have you found yourself going through the motions and trying to pretend everything is normal, but then you stand back for a second as you walk through a store and see only the eyes of the faces, you see ropes, you see steps on the floor for where you are supposed to stand, etc? Do you think to yourself how much you just wish life could go back to what we knew when the ball dropped at midnight on January 1st?

The first step is to embrace the fact that this is what we are facing. If we love it, hate it, or want it to evaporate from us, we are here.

Here are some of my ideas:

Do pause for a moment and think. Know where you stand on this. You are pro mask or anti mask. Know what you agree with, know what you disagree with.

Don’t be afraid to let people know where you stand. However, do this with still respecting that not everyone is handling this exactly the same as you may be. Learn to disagree respectfully.

Do keep a notebook or a list. This is needed for your thoughts, ideas, lists, etc. If there was ever a time to forget, tis now. A list will be a great friend for you!

Do let go of the idea that everything must be as perfected as possible.

Don’t say yes when you want to say no, don’t say no if you want to say yes. If you are unsure, saying I’ll have to get back to you on that IS okay.

Do weigh pros and cons. YOUR own. You can do this with your spouse/children if needed if you come up against something you’re having a hard time deciding on. Try not to stall and leave things unanswered. Try not to procrastinate.

Do talk about your gift exchanges. Maybe you always do secret Santa, but don’t feel it’s safe this year. Maybe you always do a girls hot chocolate party with old high school friends. Maybe you have the tradition of always going to cousin Stan’s holiday party the first weekend of December. Maybe this year you need to come up with safer ideas, postpone, decline. There was a commercial of a granddaughter that sent her grandma a big photo picture of herself and then when it arrived in the mail they facetimed. She was able to see her grandmothers reaction. It might not be the same, but the moment was still touching and memorable. This is where we’ve lost perspective this year. We are still able to make memories, we just need to be creative in doing so. There are options too. Packages can be purchased, wrapped, and shipped to friends and loved ones. Make sure you know who you are buying for. If someone may want to opt out this year, don’t get upset. You may even receive from someone this year you do not normally get a gift from. It’s the year of the unpredictable.

Do still decorate. You might feel “what is the sense if no one is coming over?” Keep some normal of the season in your life. Change it up a little bit. There is just something about those lights, ornaments, manger scene, tree, Christmas music, and so much more that brings the spirit of Christmas through.

Do bake, but don’t overdo. If you aren’t having 30 people over on Christmas eve, and the normal 15 that show up on Christmas day, you might want to reconsider using your normal recipes. Maybe make smaller batches this year. OR perhaps you would like to share. If you bake, do it safely. It is highly recommended that you wear gloves and mask if you are going to be sharing your baked goods with anyone outside of your home. Yes, while baking and putting together plates or baskets of baked goods/foods. You would be much more at ease knowing you took precautions, then having to worry later.

Do watch a Christmas movie (or two, three, four). Do read a Christmas story. Do listen to Christmas music!

Do ask where people stand. This may seem like a repeat, but it’s so important to be open and clear with those we know and love.

Do come up with new ideas. Maybe you’ve been wanting to change a tradition that just doesn’t seem to be working. This is a GREAT opportunity to change/stop. Then when next year rolls around if will be much easier to say “I liked the way we did that last year better.”

Do be careful.

Do smile. Wear a mask. Social distance. Don’t overcrowd. Don’t take unnecessary chances and risks of spreading. Do your best to stop the chances of spreading.

Most importantly, DO remember the true reason we celebrate this season!

Even if you are not a ‘writer’ (so to speak), everyone is writing something in some way. It may be through texts, emails, Instagram, Twitter, Facebook, Tik Tok, comments on web pages or reviews, and many other ways. The more I read posts on social media these days, I find myself becoming baffled by the behaviors and mindsets of people. As I am finishing my degree, and getting closer to my future in writing, I have learned so many things by the questions they ask us in our classes. They speak about our identify, who we are, what do we want to be known for, and so on. I wish there was an easy way to ask these questions in a gentle way in response to some activity I see today on social media.

Here are some of my own thoughts; before you post it what are you trying to convey? What do you wish to accomplish? Is it good, bad, or trying to prove a point? We used to be able to have a difference of opinion with the people we loved and cared about without it becoming radical. The media used to speak of cyber bullying, but I think we are in a new wave of something different when it comes to people getting their point across.

We used to pick up the phone and dial a number to talk to people. This seems to have been replaced with the social media platforms that exist today. There was something valuable about wondering what you thought about this or that. We actually had conversations. We actually spent time together (in person or on the phone). Nothing can replace actual contact. Heck, I even used to enjoy receiving a hand written letter in the mail.

I try to instill in my kids that whatever you post, snap a picture of, write/type/text, once you click share, it’s out there. Once it’s out there, even if you erase it, it still was out there to be found again. It is actually okay to keep some thoughts to yourself.

My mother used to ask the question a lot “Is that necessary?” I find myself asking myself this question more and more the older I get. Why am I posting this photo or sharing someone else’s upset? Who will this benefit? Does this make me look tough/weak? Not everyone needs to know how long your shower was, what time you ate dinner, or that you actually paid your bills this month. I think it’s okay to share photos from your trip, day out at the park, or a birthday party. However, I too feel that sometimes you can overshare. There again comes the questions of why do I feel everyone needs to see every single dance move I did, or each and every gift she received at her bridal shower? Is it truly all necessary. Sometimes less is more.

When it comes to controversy my viewpoint is this, there is already enough out there and people are well aware, so I don’t need to contribute more to it. There is a lot to be said by just being a normal happy go lucky person. Well, who cares what people think? Actually – why cause them to think at all? What’s with him lately? Why are they so upset? We know she really hates this or that. That’s all well and good, but I challenge us all to be more positive. I challenge us all to spread more good instead of negative. In a world that is full of turmoil, hatred, controversy, and panic, let’s not add more wood to that fire by using our platform to do so.

Even if you can’t stand the state of the world, don’t agree with everything that is happening in one controversy or another, you are still able to be that positive reinforcer in the lives of the people around you. Why not? Just like you don’t need to finish the full bag of chips, but feel you need to because you already had two thirds. It is still possible to wrap it up for later.

May we each examine ourselves and our platforms. Before we click share ask why. Who is this helping? Will this cause an argument? Is this spreading positivity or negativity? In the end it’s all up to us to make this world a more bitter place, or better! I choose better!