It’s finally here…six minutes late. As we quickly boarded the train so it could still leave on time, we put everything in its place and sat down. Within a few moments we were on our way. As I moved the curtain back beside my seat to look and see out the window – there was a wall. I thought “this must be a joke.” For a moment I felt a panic because I’m not too fond of enclosed spaces. I could see about three inches of the window for the seat behind me in back of my head, but there was no opening to any window at my seat, I wondered how I would handle the next 5 hours.
The train attendant came through and asked the two gentlemen across from my husband and I if they would like a window seat as soon as one became available. She neglected to ask us. Now I’m upset. Meanwhile we are at the head of the cart with the most beaming bright light coming down on our faces with no escape from it. Within the next 10 minutes in the seat behind us…began the crying of a baby and that carried on for about 40 minutes straight. At this point I’ve developed a literal migraine. My husband kept reminding me that the food cart would soon be open and we could go sit there to have a snack and get some scenery from the windows of that part of the train. I was delighted when I heard an announcement ‘start’ to be made…until they let us know that the food cart would not be opened until they could get a technical issue fixed. Now I am stuck. Not only is the baby crying, but the mom is using some type of soothing cream that had the worst smell imaginable. For a moment I just wanted to cry. I placed my husband’s sunglasses on and closed my eyes to avoid everything that was taking place.
I could not escape what life was brining my way in those moments. At that time, it felt like an unending torture. Sure, I do realize that there could so many worse things happening in my life.
As the announcement was made that the snack shop cart was now open my husband and I quickly found a seat and had a snack. I had my pad of paper to write…but the sentences wouldn’t come to me. I just began to look outside.
I realized how much those circumstances that were out of my control can creep upon any of us at any given moment. We all have those times when we can’t see the other side of where we are. We all face frustration. I never saw it coming, and only expected to have an enjoyable ride home.
I knew that this was a temporary circumstance, and it wasn’t going to last. However, I didn’t want to deal with it. When it’s said that 90% of our life is our reaction to the things or incidents that we have happen – our reaction to what we can’t control is within our control.
How could I possibly find any enjoyment or peace within potentially not seeing outside of my own space for the next five hours? How many times have any of us faced something that caused a detour to our plans?
In the end, the torture didn’t last as long as it could have.
In the end, I did see the daylight again.
I made it through.
Somewhere far above me is a galaxy, is the maker of the stars. A million light years away looking down upon that train…my big circumstance was so little in the realm of the bigger picture.
When we can’t reverse the moment, we can focus forward. We can also look back at many hard times we’ve faced and recognize that we have a strength within ourselves to get through those hard times. For me personally, it’s a reliance on my faith.
I was trapped in a moment of time.
When I left the train station to go home, I thought back to the initial incident that seemed to unravel me much more than it needed to. What IS going right in life? What do I have to look forward to?
There was a light at the end, but the train I was riding on didn’t go through a tunnel. It was daytime and the light of the sunshine was actually shining the entire time, I just couldn’t see it ‘at times’ on that trip.
Perhaps the next time I don’t have a window view, I will have learned a lesson from this.
I allowed my perception at that time to be harnessed to the most terrible of thoughts. The outcome still turned out okay. If I focused on the good of it, I would have seen that the train had no delays, it wasn’t derailed, no one was hurt, and it went by faster than I could have imagined.
I could have read a book, I could have listened to music, or even taken a nap. I had other options to where I could put my focus. May we all see and be reminded…when we don’t have the window seat to what’s happening…we can create another (better) viewpoint of our own while we wait.